Die Pants! DIE
by Jappa
Summary: Kagome has had it with Sesshomaru's pants. She hates them so much it is driving her crazy. So she has a plan... THE PANTS MUST DIE. Written for lunaticneko's 'Sesshomaru's pants must die' challenge. ONESHOT VERSION EDITED


**Die Pants! DIE**

**This is a re-write of my 4 chapter story Die Pants! DIE that is on my account. I turned this into a chapter and changed some of the things. **

**This ****was originally written for lunaticneko's 'Sesshomaru's pants must die' challenge a few years ago, on Dokuga!**

**Warnings: Kagome has been driven crazy by Sesshomaru's pants so she does not speak quite right. Some of the words she says are not how you would usually say them. There is a little bit of OOC-ness in this story and a lot of insane things are happening. I did write this a few years ago, so it is not to my usual standards, though I have edited it. Sorry if this annoys you. Also, some of the things mentioned are not around in the feudal era.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything you recognise from the InuYasha series. If you think I do, you must be dreaming!**

**UPDATE: 14th December 2012: I've gotten a BETA! YAAAAY! She's my lovely friend Akiko39. Thank you so much!**

**PART 1: The Beginning**

**Kagome's POV**

I looked over to Sesshomaru.

_NO! NOT THE PANTS!_ I thought. _Anything but those pants!_

"Sesshomaru can you please take off those pants! They are horrible!" I asked.

"No." he replied.

"Please." I asked again, really hoping he would.

"No,"

"Pretty please?" I nagged. I honestly cannot stand those pants!

"No and if you say please one more time..." He threatened.

"Oh, come on." I sighed.

"No,"

"Fine," I said, jutting out my chin and crossing my arms. "Be that way."

"Hn," Sesshomaru stood up and walked out of the room. I stood and went to the dojo to practice my really bad swordsmanship for a while.

**PART 2: Please Sesshy, Please**

My eye twitched at the sight of Sesshomaru on the chair reading a book.

_Please don't tell me he is wearing those pants..._

"Se-" I started.

"No," He interrupted, not even looking up from his book.

"Bu-" I tried again.

"No," he butted in.

"Plea-"

"No, no, no and no." He stated. I then thought of an idea.

"What about no?" I asked.

"Yes." He replied not looking up from the book.

"YES!" I yelled. He fell for it! "Now, ta-"

"No." he said. Damn it! I thought I had him!

"No?" I asked trying again.

"No." He said realising my plan.

I growled and made my way to our room. Walking straight up to his closet I went to open the door... only to be thrown back by a barrier.

"DAMMIT." I yelled and Sesshomaru walked in.

"Please Sesshy, Please." I nagged. "For me, your mate." I asked putting on my puppy-dog eyes.

"No." He said lying down on the bed.

_I'VE HAD IT! Those pants Sesshomaru owns are HORRIBLE! They MUST GO! But how? ... I KNOW! I HAS TO KILLZ THEM!_

**PART 3: The Finale**

_My plan is made, I have everything in order... All I need is Sesshomaru's pants. MHA HA HA HA HAA!_

I walked up to his closet and tried to open it... but it wouldn't work.

I tried again... and it still didn't open.

_Okay... _I thought, _Time for plan B._

I walked out of the room and to my secret hideout... my favourite room... MY STUDY!

Walking in I picked up a bag and grabbed some matches. After walking back to the bedroom I pulled out two sets of ten dynamite bombs from the bag and after setting one on either side of the closet, put up a sound barrier and a normal barrier around it, and lit the two cords leading to each one.

_10_

_9_

_8_

_7_

_6_

_5_

_4_

_3_

_2_

_1_

_..._

_1_

_..._

_I thought one-_

**BOOM!**

Stuff went flying everywhere and there was smoke and flames and then some more smoke and some more flames!

I let down the barrier and started throwing water onto the flames, and then went over to where the closet _was_ and looked for any signs of _whole _pants.

When I found none, I started cheering. I finally got rid of those pants!

"Woo hoo, woo hoo. I rule I rule oh yeah yea, yea..." Then a thought crossed my mind.

_'What about the pants Sesshomaru is **wearing**?' _An evil looked crossed my features as I thought of the best plan for killing... THE LAST PAIR OF SESSHOMARU'S PANTS!

**PART 4: The Finale... For Real This Time**

"There is the target; do you want me to attack? Miko over." I said into my hand.

"Yes, As long as the plan is ready. Kagome over." I replied.

"Okay. Miko out."

I turned to see Sesshomaru sitting in the garden reading, yet again. I turned to his pants that were looking at me, daring me to come and attack.

I checked that I had everything set.

_Rocket launcher? Tick!_

_Fire Gun? Tick!_

_Grenade? Tick!_

_My cute widdle teddy bear? Tick!_

_Stink bomb? Tick!_

_Water gun? Tick!_

That is everything, now ATTACK!

I pulled out a stink bomb and threw it in Sesshy's direction. Then I pulled out a grenade and also threw it in Sesshy's direction.

After I heard the explosion, I pulled out my fire gun and aimed it in the direction of Sesshy's pants. Then I used the water gun, the fire gun, and the water gun again and so on and so forth until I was certain that the pants were nearly destroyed.

I pulled out my cute widdle teddy bear and gave it a hug before throwing it at Sesshomaru and hitting him in the... part boys don't like getting hit in. After that I pull out the rocket launcher and fired it at the pants.

After the explosion, I waited for the smoke to disappear before checking if the pants were gone... and they were.

"SCORE!" I yelled jumping up and dancing.

"I rule, I rule oh yeah, yeah, ye-"

"Grrrrrrrrrrrr."

I turned around to see Sesshomaru standing there, red eyes growling at me and man does he not look happy.

"Calm down Sesshy, no need to do something irrational." I said trying to calm him down. He glared at me and stalked off, heading in the direction of our bedroom so he can get changed. Then I realised something.

"NO SESSHOMARU! DON'T GO IN THE-"

"KAGOME!" He roared.

"... Uh Oh..."

**THE END!**


End file.
